Café novelist

Frustrated indie author!

“So” is the new “um”

on June 9, 2015


Conspiracy theories have abounded for decades about the cover-up of alien beings walking among us. We have all seen pictures and films of wide-eyed skinny green men with laser guns that vaporise innocent bystanders in a cloud of atoms. But what if their appearance was more subtle than that and to all intents and purposes they looked and acted just like us. How could you tell them apart? Could it be that innocent old Doris working in the photocopying room is one of them?
Well, fret not. I have discovered a sure-fire way of spotting them, and once you notice it they will stand out like a sore thumb. I’m not sure when this invasion started, but once they established their presence their numbers swelled. Slowly I became aware of the strange way in which they talked, and no matter how hard they tried they could not master the subtle nuances of the English language.
What was the tell-tale giveaway?
Starting their answers to direct questions with a conjunction – an unforgiveable and deadly sin and one which can damage the sensibilities of any unsuspecting listener!
It goes something like this…

Imagine an everyday mundane situation like ordering a coffee.

“Can I help you?”

“So, I’ll have an almond latte.”

“Any pastries?”

“So, no thank you.”

So bloody irritating!



Image courtesy of


Thanks a lot for your interest in my post, I'll get back to you as soon as I can!

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